This is a real ad that appeared on my Facebook page today. Yes, that appears to be a turd. Specifically, the turd of someone who likes peanuts. Upon seeing it, I immediately thought to myself, "I have to share this with my readers." You're probably wondering what that says about you, right about now. Don't… Continue reading Lose Weight By Taking A Sh*t. Seriously?
If you'd like to read the R-rated version of this post (the one without all the f**cking asterisks), click here. As a person who studied literature and writing, I’m troubled by our rampant and incorrect usage of profanity. To be clear, I don’t give a s**t if people cuss, but it’s critical to the further… Continue reading I Don’t/Couldn’t/Wouldn’t Give A S**t/Flying F**k/ Rat’s A**/Damn (PG-Rated Version)
As a person who studied literature and writing, I’m troubled by our rampant and incorrect usage of profanity. To be clear, I don’t give a shit if people cuss, but it’s critical to the further development of civilization that we know what we mean when we say, “I don’t give a shit.” Americans are quick… Continue reading I Don’t/Wouldn’t/Couldn’t Give A Shit/Flying Fuck/Rat’s Ass/Damn
As I open the condo door, I immediately notice that the space is flooded in darkness. One arm outstretched to prevent my clients from entering the unit and breaking something that would best remain unbroken, I feel around blindly with my left hand, my fingers searching the wall for the light switch. Click. A vintage… Continue reading I Love The Smell Of Napalm In The Condo (Or How I Farted And Got Away With It)