Humor · Politics

MSNBC Covered Actual News Today. Trump Baffled.

MSP News - In a shocking break with 24-hour news channel protocol, MSNBC reported on the capture of Paris terror suspect Salah Abdeslam. An actual story, not a moving ticker tape along the bottom of the screen. Live coverage with Richard Engel. The word Trump wasn't uttered for over 34 minutes in a row. Calls… Continue reading MSNBC Covered Actual News Today. Trump Baffled.

Humor · News

Bundy Protesters To Use Kittens On Front Line

First, it was women. Children. Now kittens? Cliven Bundy, the Nevada rancher whose armed protesters recently forced U.S. Bureau of Land Management agents to withdraw during an attempt to herd and impound Bundy's cattle, which are illegally grazing on federally-protected lands, has come up with a new tactic to deter future attempts by agents: newborn… Continue reading Bundy Protesters To Use Kittens On Front Line

Humor · Politics

Cycling Zookeeper Regime Leads March On Republican National Convention

Perhaps the most prominent and organized group of protesters at Monday morning's March on the RNC, which began just over a mile north of the Tampa Bay Times Forum, ground zero for this year's convention, was the Cycling Zookeeper Regime. Dressed from neck to knees in khaki to honor their slain leader, Steve Irwin, a.k.a.… Continue reading Cycling Zookeeper Regime Leads March On Republican National Convention

Humor · Politics

A Humor Blog For Horrible People

A Humor Blog For Horrible People That's my new tagline - and one that will take up residence on my newly-designed website in a month or so after all of my Paltry Meanderings' readers have caught on. You may have noticed that I've got a new name and look. It was time for a change… Continue reading A Humor Blog For Horrible People

Humor · Politics

Letters To Mitt

Dear Mitt: When you have gazillions of dollars and no job, you aren't "unemployed." You're "retired." xo CCL *** Dear Mitt: London is an international,  financial hub with a port, the first underground rail system and nearly 8 million people. Salt Lake City is dot on a map with a lake, a genealogical library and… Continue reading Letters To Mitt

Humor · News

Headlines From The Fluffington Post

I enjoy reading The Huffington Post. It delivers my news in the crunchy-granola, tree-hugging, Obama-loving, non-homophobic, NPR-listening, organically-grown, Jon Stewart-worshiping, ballet-flat wearing format that makes me feel happy, informed and secure. If The Huff Post editors eat meat, I'm sure they feel guilty about it later. For years now, reading my news online delivered me from the hell… Continue reading Headlines From The Fluffington Post

Uncategorized

Bath Salts Made Me Eat Your Face

Remember when bath salts made your skin soft and smell faintly of something like lavender? Remember when the worst thing that could come as a result of using bath salts was a UTI? Remember when bath salts were merely part of one of those crappy, bath product gift baskets you bought your great Aunt Edna… Continue reading Bath Salts Made Me Eat Your Face

Comedy · Humor · Life · News · Travel · Uncategorized · Writing

Open Letter To Florida’s Snowbirds

Dear Old CootsSnowbirds, As a full-time resident of the Sunshine State, I am heavily-medicated due to tolerate your presence for four to five months out of each and every year. During your visits to my hometown, I strive to be patient and even welcoming. After all, you bring with you a collection of used, wadded up tissues… Continue reading Open Letter To Florida’s Snowbirds

Blogging · Comedy · Death · Evolution · Extinction · Humor · Life · Literature · News · Politics · Uncategorized · Writing

Nice People: Driving Mankind To Extinction

We’re all taught to be nice to others. To treat people as we would like to be treated. Bumper stickers proclaim “Mean People Suck” and "Mean People Are Mean." And while not terribly eloquent and apparently created by four year olds, their message is dead-on accurate. Mean people suck. But without them, humanity will wither… Continue reading Nice People: Driving Mankind To Extinction

Blogging · Comedy · Death · Food · Humor · Life · Uncategorized · Writing

Cake? You’ll Poke Your Eye Out, Kid!

As with all As Seen On TV! products, I was blown away by the revolutionary new baking craze that is sweeping the nation. Bake Pops. Yes, I know. It’s mind-blowing. Cake on a stick. ON A STICK! Certainly, a nuclear physicist or Nobel winning scientist was behind this invention. What are Bake Pops, you ask?… Continue reading Cake? You’ll Poke Your Eye Out, Kid!