Humor

My Mortal Enemy: The Elusive Chin Up

You know your workout isn't off to a great start when your husband challenges you to do a chin up and you immediately wonder, "Which chin?" Hey, it's a serious question. Do I need to pull all of my body weight up towards a metal rod of random height and merely touch the tip of… Continue reading My Mortal Enemy: The Elusive Chin Up

Humor

Award Posts Make Me Want To Become A Ward Of The State Penitentiary

I'm a terrible person. If Jennifer Aniston had married me (which would have been creepy because she doesn't have a penis), when we finally divorced and I posed for photos with Angelina Jolie (not nearly as creepy because I'm pretty sure she does have a penis), she would have told the press in that whiny… Continue reading Award Posts Make Me Want To Become A Ward Of The State Penitentiary

Humor

Fear, Racism And The Church Of The Holy Crock Pot

I am a tithing member of the Church of the Holy Crock Pot. Though I dutifully praise the Crock Pot’s glories on a regular basis, take it to all the best potlucks, and actively witness to others about how the power of the Crock Pot has changed my life, it occasionally lets me down. This… Continue reading Fear, Racism And The Church Of The Holy Crock Pot

Humor · Uncategorized

Part Deux – Yoga Is Not A Character In Star Wars

This is Part II of  my two-part post, Yoga Is Not A Character In Star Wars. If you haven't read Part I of this series, click here now. Or what? I'll kick you, that's what! *** When I saw my reflection in the plate glass window of the lawyer’s office, I immediately knew that I… Continue reading Part Deux – Yoga Is Not A Character In Star Wars

Humor · Uncategorized

Yoga Is Not A Character In Star Wars

I’m not a cool yoga chick, a.k.a. CYC. You know, the kind you see wandering into a locally-owned coffee shop (CYCs don’t support corporations and, thus, boycott Starbucks and Dunkin’ Donuts) still wearing her yoga pants and skin tight tank top, her hair swept up into an untidy knot on top of her head that… Continue reading Yoga Is Not A Character In Star Wars

Comedy · Death · Humor · Literature · Poetry · Tribute · Uncategorized · Writing

The World’s Worst Sonnet About A Dead Dog Ever

While I was studying poetry in college, I was forced to write a sonnet. Forced, you say? Was a gun held to my head? Did a professor surreptitiously slip a pinless grenade into my palm, step back cautiously and demand, "Write the damned sonnet!" No, but my instructor did string my GPA up by the… Continue reading The World’s Worst Sonnet About A Dead Dog Ever