I'll admit it. When I was a teen, I used to be a bit of a gossip. My own self-esteem was so fractured after my merciless stint in middle school, I felt less "different" when I learned of others' flaws, weaknesses and mistakes. A good gossip-mongering session made me feel included because everyone was doing it. … Continue reading Gossip Girl And The Juicy Tidbit
1. If one is the loneliest number, I suspect seven is Homecoming Queen. 3.14159265359 is Most Likely to Be Irrational and Transcendental. And sixty-nine is annoyed that she is illegal in Washington, D.C. 2. Ever wonder if Jesus might have just been a really good magician? Thank you, my disciples. Now for my next trick, I shall… Continue reading 10 Random Things I Thought About Today
What Is Fictionary? It's a clever word coined by my blogging buddy, Kylie, over at The Life of Kylie, that refers to new words, phrases, or new definitions for existing words or phrases - often punny in nature - created by people like me who have way too much time on their hands. What's more, she's… Continue reading Fictionary: Preventing The Extinction Of My Muffin Top
The other night, a small, erm, blemish appeared on my chin. Miss Snarky Pants does not get (shiver) pimples, but sometimes she talks about herself in third person, which is equally creepy. Fortunately, all superhero bloggers have their gear - and so do I. Just as Wonder Woman used her golden lasso to extract the… Continue reading Is That The Bog Of Eternal Stench Or Your Face?
Every once in awhile, Karma smiles down upon you and grants you the opportunity of a lifetime. In my case, her gift was two tickets for a taping of The Daily Show in Tampa, Florida during the Republican National Convention. Now, some of you may be snickering or rolling your eyes because you're complete and utter morons I… Continue reading Jon Stewart Called Stephen Colbert A What?!?
I enjoy reading The Huffington Post. It delivers my news in the crunchy-granola, tree-hugging, Obama-loving, non-homophobic, NPR-listening, organically-grown, Jon Stewart-worshiping, ballet-flat wearing format that makes me feel happy, informed and secure. If The Huff Post editors eat meat, I'm sure they feel guilty about it later. For years now, reading my news online delivered me from the hell… Continue reading Headlines From The Fluffington Post
Thomas Edison legendarily tested potential employees by inviting them to dinner. If they sprinkled salt on their food before tasting it, he refused to hire them, viewing their thoughtless salting as a sign that their preconceived mindset would prevent them from analyzing a situation thoroughly before taking action. To be fair, this method of eliminating… Continue reading Salt Is The Spice Of Life And Other Tales Of Chef-Induced Woe
I'm a terrible person. If Jennifer Aniston had married me (which would have been creepy because she doesn't have a penis), when we finally divorced and I posed for photos with Angelina Jolie (not nearly as creepy because I'm pretty sure she does have a penis), she would have told the press in that whiny… Continue reading Award Posts Make Me Want To Become A Ward Of The State Penitentiary
Remember MySpace? Justin Timberlake and his $35 million dollar investment seriously wish you would. Though I didn't spend much time in the social networking world during the mid-2000s, I did join and was thrilled to discover that I immediately had a friend in Tom Anderson. You know, Tom - the cute guy in the white tee… Continue reading Where’s The Love, Mark Zuckerberg?
This is Part II of my two-part post, Yoga Is Not A Character In Star Wars. If you haven't read Part I of this series, click here now. Or what? I'll kick you, that's what! *** When I saw my reflection in the plate glass window of the lawyer’s office, I immediately knew that I… Continue reading Part Deux – Yoga Is Not A Character In Star Wars