We’re all taught to be nice to others. To treat people as we would like to be treated. Bumper stickers proclaim “Mean People Suck” and "Mean People Are Mean." And while not terribly eloquent and apparently created by four year olds, their message is dead-on accurate. Mean people suck. But without them, humanity will wither… Continue reading Nice People: Driving Mankind To Extinction
Cake? You’ll Poke Your Eye Out, Kid!
As with all As Seen On TV! products, I was blown away by the revolutionary new baking craze that is sweeping the nation. Bake Pops. Yes, I know. It’s mind-blowing. Cake on a stick. ON A STICK! Certainly, a nuclear physicist or Nobel winning scientist was behind this invention. What are Bake Pops, you ask?… Continue reading Cake? You’ll Poke Your Eye Out, Kid!
Seven More Things? Really?
This will be my shortest post ever. Except for Savannah Glasses - which I won't even provide a link for because it's just a photo and an excuse for not writing. Why so short? It's very late. I'm extremely tired. I'm not funny when I'm sleepy. Actually, I am funny, but it's because I snore… Continue reading Seven More Things? Really?
How Polly Flinders Ruined My Life
I was a private school kid. Before you go there, I wasn’t that kind of private school kid. There were no limousines or drivers or designer bags or ivy-covered walls or disheveled teachers in tweed who lived onsite and inspired me to seize the day. In fact, I was a scholarship kid – which meant… Continue reading How Polly Flinders Ruined My Life
The Demise of Full Frontal
Many of us are guilty of this. You know what I’m talking about it. You've done it. I’ve done it. A lot of my friends have done it. Heck, I do it all the time. The other day, on the way to a funeral, I did it in the car - multiple times. Why? I… Continue reading The Demise of Full Frontal
You Like Me! You Really Like Me!
The day I was Freshly Pressed, the gifted author of The Book of Alice - an utterly charming blog about parenting by the mother of an adorable toddler named Alice - bestowed upon The Paltry Meanderings of a Taller Than Average Woman , the highly-coveted 7x7 Link Blog Award. After gushing and blushing appropriately, I came to realize that… Continue reading You Like Me! You Really Like Me!
The World’s Worst Sonnet About A Dead Dog Ever
While I was studying poetry in college, I was forced to write a sonnet. Forced, you say? Was a gun held to my head? Did a professor surreptitiously slip a pinless grenade into my palm, step back cautiously and demand, "Write the damned sonnet!" No, but my instructor did string my GPA up by the… Continue reading The World’s Worst Sonnet About A Dead Dog Ever
Farewell, My Favorite Redneck
This weekend we buried my favorite redneck. Many people who know me would be surprised to discover that I dearly loved someone who used to scoot across the Everglades in an air boat, not to point gators out to tourists with cameras, but to hunt them (the gators, not the tourists). Their eyebrows might shoot… Continue reading Farewell, My Favorite Redneck
In Search of “The Holy White Man”
While we indulged in over-priced Peruvian fare last night, our friend, Jarrod, shared a story about his now-deceased aunt, who apparently was a member of the only Pentecostal church in Florida that doesn't believe in Jesus. How is that possible? Pentecostals live for Jesus. They eat his body and drink his blood at communion...yet never… Continue reading In Search of “The Holy White Man”