Humor · Politics

2012 RNC Protest Awards

As with every major event, some self-satisfied schmuck comes along and deigns it his or her distinct honor to decide who were the best dressed, worst dressed, most improved, most likely to, most popular and funniest. In the case of The March on the Republican National Convention (RNC), that self-satisfied schmuck would be moi. Most Likely… Continue reading 2012 RNC Protest Awards

Humor · Politics

Cycling Zookeeper Regime Leads March On Republican National Convention

Perhaps the most prominent and organized group of protesters at Monday morning's March on the RNC, which began just over a mile north of the Tampa Bay Times Forum, ground zero for this year's convention, was the Cycling Zookeeper Regime. Dressed from neck to knees in khaki to honor their slain leader, Steve Irwin, a.k.a.… Continue reading Cycling Zookeeper Regime Leads March On Republican National Convention

Humor · Politics

A Humor Blog For Horrible People

A Humor Blog For Horrible People That's my new tagline - and one that will take up residence on my newly-designed website in a month or so after all of my Paltry Meanderings' readers have caught on. You may have noticed that I've got a new name and look. It was time for a change… Continue reading A Humor Blog For Horrible People

Humor · Politics

Letters To Mitt

Dear Mitt: When you have gazillions of dollars and no job, you aren't "unemployed." You're "retired." xo CCL *** Dear Mitt: London is an international,  financial hub with a port, the first underground rail system and nearly 8 million people. Salt Lake City is dot on a map with a lake, a genealogical library and… Continue reading Letters To Mitt

Humor

Don’t Be Such A Ratcist!

“At the heart of ratcism is the religious assertion that God made a creative mistake when He brought some critters into being.” - Friedrich Otto Hertz's rat Most people dislike rats. For some, it's the misplaced belief that today's domestic rats are the same critters that spread the Bubonic Plague throughout Europe during the Middle… Continue reading Don’t Be Such A Ratcist!

Humor · News

Headlines From The Fluffington Post

I enjoy reading The Huffington Post. It delivers my news in the crunchy-granola, tree-hugging, Obama-loving, non-homophobic, NPR-listening, organically-grown, Jon Stewart-worshiping, ballet-flat wearing format that makes me feel happy, informed and secure. If The Huff Post editors eat meat, I'm sure they feel guilty about it later. For years now, reading my news online delivered me from the hell… Continue reading Headlines From The Fluffington Post

Food · Humor

Salt Is The Spice Of Life And Other Tales Of Chef-Induced Woe

Thomas Edison legendarily tested potential employees by inviting them to dinner. If they sprinkled salt on their food before tasting it, he refused to hire them, viewing their thoughtless salting as a sign that their preconceived mindset would prevent them from analyzing a situation thoroughly before taking action. To be fair, this method of eliminating… Continue reading Salt Is The Spice Of Life And Other Tales Of Chef-Induced Woe

Humor

Award Posts Make Me Want To Become A Ward Of The State Penitentiary

I'm a terrible person. If Jennifer Aniston had married me (which would have been creepy because she doesn't have a penis), when we finally divorced and I posed for photos with Angelina Jolie (not nearly as creepy because I'm pretty sure she does have a penis), she would have told the press in that whiny… Continue reading Award Posts Make Me Want To Become A Ward Of The State Penitentiary

Humor

Stealing From Alice

Today, I'm cheating. I'm stealing the book of alice's format right out from under her, just this once. Why? Because I met the most hilarious 7 year old boy at an Independence Day pool party this afternoon. Dripping wet and shivering, Freddie was searching for a dry towel. Me: Do you want to use one… Continue reading Stealing From Alice

Humor

The Short, Sad Life of Vibrator Girl

I don't recall how the discussion of vibrators arose. Only that it came up while I was riding home on a sweltering school bus filled to the gills with students of every age - as is often the case with private, parochial schools. A popular, older boy named Jerry mentioned that someone had a vibrator… Continue reading The Short, Sad Life of Vibrator Girl