How often do you walk into the tiny room that contains the washer and dryer and then think, “Omigod, where am I?” Spinning around, you search for clues. The two enormous white boxes with big, circular windows on the front are no help at all. Frantically, you fling open the cabinets hanging on the wall. Bleach, detergent, fabric softener, plastic baskets filled with clothing and towels. Useless. Why are there no hints?
You crouch down and hug your knees. As you look up, prepared to pray to God to send a search party, you see it: a beacon of hope hanging on the wall. Laundry. That’s right; it’s a literal sign, and it says Laundry, painted in elegant calligraphy, no less. You are saved. You are in the laundry room.
Okay, if that’s happened to you, you need to see a doctor immediately. I’m not going to diagnose you, but unless your laundry room is the size of Clooney’s pad in Lake Cuomo, you shouldn’t forget where you are when you’re in it. Now enough about you and your memory issues, I have to steer this post back in the right direction.
What is up with all the household signs? Are they a sign (*snort*) that decor is changing to one of appliances camouflaged as other appliances so that a room reminder is necessary? Damn, the washer that looks like a toilet gets me every time. Thank God for our Laundry sign. Are they an accommodation for those with extra-short, short-term memories? Okay, I came in this room with a plastic basket filled with stinky clothes. Now what? Oh, duh! Thank God for our Wash, Fluff & Fold sign.
Is it corporate America’s method of keeping humans alive so we can spend our retirement savings buying room-specific signs at their overpriced stores? For two days I haven’t consumed so much as a crumb of food, but then I finally saw the Eat sign on the wall. I’ve been in the kitchen this whole time. Thank God for our Eat sign. To thank Michael’s, I’m rushing right over and buying a Drink sign, too.
While the entire topic of silly signs could be explored in minutiae, I will leave you to ponder those thoughts as I have to make myself a sandwich. It’s been two days since I’ve eaten. Why are there no clues?
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