Humor · Poetry

Just Four Friggin’ Lines #6 – The Trump Edition


Just Four Friggin’ Lines is a poetry series by Miss Snarky Pants devoted to people who prefer to read Donald Trump’s speech – announcing his run for the presidency – on the toilet. Now before you say, Hey, wait a minute! That’s not Just Four Friggin’ Lines, please note that I never indicated how long the lines would be. Details, folks.

Exceptions must be made for exceptional people like Donald Trump. I admit, the third line is a tad long, – okay, it’s Allen Ginsburg’s Howl long – but how else could I fully encapsulate in verse, a candidate who, whilst humble and well-coiffed, is a loquacious man. A garrulous fellow. Let’s face it, he wouldn’t shut up. Miss Snarky Pants has condensed the highlights, low blows and bold-faced bigotry into Just Four Friggin’ Lines #6 – The Trump Edition.

Groucho Marx once quipped, Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies – a philosophy which Trump has clearly taken to heart. Along with unfiltered braggadocio, unfettered by pesky things like logic and facts. And the kind of aplomb reserved exclusively for narcissistic sociopaths. 

Enjoy! And don’t forget to wash your hands when you’re finished.

Seriously, don’t.

35 thoughts on “Just Four Friggin’ Lines #6 – The Trump Edition

  1. That man is something else, isn’t he? If I were to write an egotistical character like that, people would never buy it. They’d say it was too stereotypical. And yet there The Donald is…

      1. I try not to badmouth celebrities, because I figure they’re people too, but The Donald just asks for it. As does Ann Coulter. Can you imagine them as a president/vice-president team? Shudder.

      2. I thought you were kidding, but I just Googled it and see you weren’t. Wow. Hmm, maybe Dr. Phil could be his Secretary of Defense and Jimmy Fallon his Secretary of State.

      3. I’d feel more comfortable with either of them in office vs. Trump. At least their television shows are respectable. I suspect Trump’s motive is a new show he’s developing for all the politicians who fail in their 2016 presidential bids: The Political Apprentice. If only Jon Stewart would run. Damn, it would be a hilarious four years.

      4. Oprah knows her place. She’s an entertainment mogul, not a politician. Jon Stewart is a comedian, albeit an incredibly politically astute one, but he knows that he’s not prepared to run an entire country. As a doctor, what do you think of Ben Carson? I think he should stick to surgery, myself.

  2. There once was an ego named Trump
    Who took the occasional dump
    On the heads of the people, who lined up like sheeple
    To laugh at the ego named Trump.

    {Apologies to Edward Lear}

      1. Trump is threatening to run as a third party candidate, which is basically like dropping a flaming turd on the doorstep of the Republican Party. And putting the entire Doctor Who collection on mine – sigh. If he does, he could potentially split the conservative vote. Certainly, the biggest idiots, the kind of people who would throw their vote away on a narcissistic sociopath, who’s prone to say rash and offensive things (Can you imagine him in a room with Putin? They’d be comrades for exactly five seconds and then Trump would call him a “pussy” and we’d be looking at WWIII.) and alienated his own party within the first month of announcing his run for the presidency, will vote for him. C’mon, people, the dude is CRAZY. And I am counting on his manic self-love to split the conservative vote, so we can continue to move forward with progressive – which contains the word “progress” for a reason – leadership and continue to makes the changes that will ensure that the U.S. doesn’t slide back into the intolerant, one-percent-driven rut it has squatted in for so long.

  3. “Trump, you’re a rump.”

    Made me giggle. Thank you. The thought of him as president was getting me down. Turning me into a grump, so to speak.

      1. Are people actually displeased by semicolons? Are they that intimidating? I think it’s the mixed race thing: half colon, half comma. Where does it fit in? And how does the semicolon identify? As a comma, as a colon or have they embraced their evolution and new role connecting similar thoughts and/or acts? Transgrammar – yeah, it’s a thing.

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