The condescension
oh, Sheldon, stabs the meek heart
in this engineer
– Howard Wolowitz
Einstein bled physics,
Newton unlocked gravity,
Sheldon still can’t drive
– Leonard Hofstadter
- Grasshopper, You Are The One True God!
Grasshopper of strength,
may your mint milk inspire words,
ones spoken aloud
– Raj Koothrappali
Howard went to space,
whining like a transmission
needing a tune-up
– Sheldon Cooper
Fuck haiku, Priya.
Come near Leonard again, bitch,
I’ll cut you like grass
– Penny
Oh, Sheldon Cooper,
your chastity belt chafes raw
my unshaven loins
– Amy Farrah Fowler
Your MeMa may live,
my bearded Wesley Crusher.
Still, I scream, “Wheaton!”
– Sheldon Cooper
Geniuses upstairs
make space toilets work, but not
the elevator
– Mrs. Gunderson (downstairs neighbor)
***
If you enjoyed this post, please follow me by clicking on the big blue button in the right hand column that reads: Follow This Blog – It Leads To Treasure. You can also share this on FB or Twitter or Tumblr by clicking on the appropriate share button below. Or you can do nothing and pray that I don’t know where you live.
Funnier In Writing 
F***king brilliant. Especially Penny’s.
Why, thank you! Yes, Penny’s was a favorite of mine, too.
As usual you have made me laugh out loud, as my son stares at me , thinking that his mom has gone insane.
Are you sure that he didn’t think that already? Maybe now he just thinks you’re a happy and cray cray. Which is the best possible combination if you’ve got to be cray cray.
Rajalicious! Howard-erful of Cristy to share this amazing haiku poetry with us! Hopefully, Sheldon it again in her next blog post.
I love you so friggin’ much right now. Don’t worry…there’s Penny more where those came from!
Oooh Amy’s made me laugh the most!
I could feel the hair growing in my armpits and my monobrow expanding as I wrote that one.
Yes! This was brilliant! I LOVE this! My day was made.
What? I – little ‘ol me – have the power to make your day? This is why I do this, psmickeymouse98. How can I make your day? No, I’m not going fart. Ask all you want, but I have to draw the line. Gas ain’t cheap.
That’s one big almighty “IF” for Dr Cooper. A hilarious read, but you missed out Dr Kripke.
Slow down, grasshopper. There shall be a Part Deux!
Wheaton!!! Hilarious.
These are great, especially Amy’s. Perfect. Love that show.
I was thinking of you while I was at a writing conference a couple of weeks ago. There were so many forensics classes; I think you would have enjoyed it. Good to see you. I’m going to get caught up on my blog reading this weekend. xo
You’re right–I would have loved that. There were some great discussions at Thrillerfest, too. It was my first writers’ conference, and I loved it.
You probably heard this at Thrillerfest, but if you didn’t, we were told that YA thrillers are really in demand right now…so if you’re interested in dipping your toe into the YA genre, I bet you’d find yourself an agent in a snap – especially since you’ve already had some publishing success. 🙂
YA is all the rage now, but unfortunately, I have no interest in writing that genre. Or reading it. Too bad, because that’s what’s hot.
Not too bad for me; I’ve always wanted to write YA. I still have most of my books from childhood. 🙂
Reblogged this on Strike at Midnight and commented:
Something funny for today 🙂
Thanks so much for the reblog! You are amazeballs coated in awesome sauce. Okay, that was meant as a compliment; it just turned out a tad more visceral than I intended.
You’re very much welcome. The haiku was hilarious and is it just me or did it really make sense? Lol.
They should make sense to Big Bang Theory fans – the show, not the actual theory.
One show that never ages.
I have noticed Sheldon’s hairline receding the past couple of years. If they throw a rug on that balding pate of his, I may have to reconsider watching.
Reblogged this on imm0rtAll.
Thanks so much for the reblog! You’re awesome!
Really funny.
Thank you! Now come and finish my manuscript edit for me…I’m only half kidding. 😉
Wish I could, but I’m swamped with work all week and keeping track of my twenties being sucked into oblivion on weekends.
Which twenties? The paper ones or the ones that will inevitably turn into thirties?
the inevitable ones
I’m trying to remember those. Perhaps hypnosis will help.
I love haiku and I love The Big Bang Theory. Putting them together is priceless! Totally cool! I especially like Amy’s about Sheldon. Very funny!!
Thanks, Holly. You gotta love Amy Farrah Fowler; she’s become one of the best characters on the show.
Dear lonely. Somebody should tell Sheldon that without Engineeers there wouldn’t be any trains. That should mess with his head.
And, please don’t be lonely. Find somebody else who is lonely and share the experience.
Kind Regards G 🙂
Dear G,
Thanks for being concerned for me and my loneliness. I hope it’s some condolence that I’m only lonely during the day when Hubby’s at work and I’m supposed to be doing wifey/writer things. Howard should definitely use that retort on Sheldon. You know, that’s one thing I really like about Dr. Cooper – his love of trains. How can you not have a soft place in your heart for someone who appreciates a good choo-choo ride? Now, I must run. I’ve got three days of non-loneliness ahead of me! 🙂 xo MSP
Very Cool and glad to hear it.
Incidentally, did you know that Agony Aunts are in constant pain.
I had to come back. I love the beautifuly deranged Bernadette so:
resplendent with charm
respect my quirky state, or
I’ll bite of your arm
My excuse:
I know that Haiku
should not usually rhyme, but
I a Bernadette too
Now I need an excuse for that.
Honni soit qui mal
y pense, written on forever,
blame a pen pal
Oh dear, Oh dear that’s, really, really bad I wish, I had not posted this.
Help! It’s getting worse.
With apologies, really, no really 🙂
I’m just going to close my eyes and pretend I didn’t see this. Rhyming haiku? What’s next? Miley Cyrus making out with furries. Oh, wait…
I did wait, but nothing happened. As for your suggestion. What a nightmare. Lets hope that it never happens. I admit my behaviour was infinitely disgraceful. What fun otherwise. A peace offering.
He remarked to me then,” said that mildest of men,
“‘If your Snark be a Snark, that is right:
Fetch it home by all means, you may serve it with greens,
And it’s handy for striking a light
The Hunting of the Snark by Lewis Carroll
I have to go and do other things for a while (don’t you just hate that). See you in a few weeks and one last thought.
My other personality
Is a barmpot.
Regards Gram 🙂
Oh, holy HELL! How in sevenhells did I NOT know about all these gems!? Must… Read… MORE! 😉
So glad you enjoyed them. They were tremendous fun to write. Perhaps I shall do another series like that in the future. Hubby wants limericks.