Blogging · Humor

If Sheldon Cooper Wrote Haiku

The Pain of an Engineer Amongst Ph.Ds
The Pain Of A Lowly Engineer

The condescension

oh, Sheldon, stabs the meek heart

in this engineer

Howard Wolowitz

Leonard Driving...As Usual
Leonard Driving…As Usual

Einstein bled physics,

Newton unlocked gravity,

Sheldon still can’t drive

Leonard Hofstadter

Grasshopper, You Are The One True God!

Grasshopper, You Are The One True God!

Grasshopper of strength,

may your mint milk inspire words,

ones spoken aloud

Raj Koothrappali

The Russians Love Me!
The Russians Love Me!

Howard went to space,

whining like a transmission

needing a tune-up

Sheldon Cooper

Run, Priya! Run!
Run, Priya! Run!

Fuck haiku, Priya.

Come near Leonard again, bitch,

I’ll cut you like grass


amy and sheldon kissing

Oh, Sheldon Cooper,

your chastity belt chafes raw

my unshaven loins

Amy Farrah Fowler

Courtesy of
Courtesy of

Your MeMa may live,

my bearded Wesley Crusher.

Still, I scream, “Wheaton!”

Sheldon Cooper

big bang elevatorGeniuses upstairs

make space toilets work, but not

the elevator

Mrs. Gunderson (downstairs neighbor)


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44 thoughts on “If Sheldon Cooper Wrote Haiku

  1. As usual you have made me laugh out loud, as my son stares at me , thinking that his mom has gone insane.

    1. Are you sure that he didn’t think that already? Maybe now he just thinks you’re a happy and cray cray. Which is the best possible combination if you’ve got to be cray cray.

  2. Rajalicious! Howard-erful of Cristy to share this amazing haiku poetry with us! Hopefully, Sheldon it again in her next blog post.

    1. What? I – little ‘ol me – have the power to make your day? This is why I do this, psmickeymouse98. How can I make your day? No, I’m not going fart. Ask all you want, but I have to draw the line. Gas ain’t cheap.

    1. I was thinking of you while I was at a writing conference a couple of weeks ago. There were so many forensics classes; I think you would have enjoyed it. Good to see you. I’m going to get caught up on my blog reading this weekend. xo

      1. You’re right–I would have loved that. There were some great discussions at Thrillerfest, too. It was my first writers’ conference, and I loved it.

      2. You probably heard this at Thrillerfest, but if you didn’t, we were told that YA thrillers are really in demand right now…so if you’re interested in dipping your toe into the YA genre, I bet you’d find yourself an agent in a snap – especially since you’ve already had some publishing success. πŸ™‚

      3. YA is all the rage now, but unfortunately, I have no interest in writing that genre. Or reading it. Too bad, because that’s what’s hot.

  3. Dear lonely. Somebody should tell Sheldon that without Engineeers there wouldn’t be any trains. That should mess with his head.
    And, please don’t be lonely. Find somebody else who is lonely and share the experience.
    Kind Regards G πŸ™‚

    1. Dear G,

      Thanks for being concerned for me and my loneliness. I hope it’s some condolence that I’m only lonely during the day when Hubby’s at work and I’m supposed to be doing wifey/writer things. Howard should definitely use that retort on Sheldon. You know, that’s one thing I really like about Dr. Cooper – his love of trains. How can you not have a soft place in your heart for someone who appreciates a good choo-choo ride? Now, I must run. I’ve got three days of non-loneliness ahead of me! πŸ™‚ xo MSP

  4. I had to come back. I love the beautifuly deranged Bernadette so:

    resplendent with charm
    respect my quirky state, or
    I’ll bite of your arm

    My excuse:

    I know that Haiku
    should not usually rhyme, but
    I a Bernadette too

    Now I need an excuse for that.

    Honni soit qui mal
    y pense, written on forever,
    blame a pen pal

    Oh dear, Oh dear that’s, really, really bad I wish, I had not posted this.

    Help! It’s getting worse.

    With apologies, really, no really πŸ™‚

      1. I did wait, but nothing happened. As for your suggestion. What a nightmare. Lets hope that it never happens. I admit my behaviour was infinitely disgraceful. What fun otherwise. A peace offering.

        He remarked to me then,” said that mildest of men,
        “‘If your Snark be a Snark, that is right:
        Fetch it home by all means, you may serve it with greens,
        And it’s handy for striking a light

        The Hunting of the Snark by Lewis Carroll

        I have to go and do other things for a while (don’t you just hate that). See you in a few weeks and one last thought.

        My other personality
        Is a barmpot.

        Regards Gram πŸ™‚

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