As with every major event, some self-satisfied schmuck comes along and deigns it his or her distinct honor to decide who were the best dressed, worst dressed, most improved, most likely to, most popular and funniest. In the case of The March on the Republican National Convention (RNC), that self-satisfied schmuck would be moi.
Most Likely To Be Shot By A Vigilante Neighborhood Watch Member
It’s A Good Thing George Zimmerman Can’t Leave Orange County
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Most Likely To Have Thought Black Bloc Was A Fashion Trend
“Are We Supposed To Wear The Bandana As A Mask Or As A Scarf? It’s Cuter As A Scarf.”
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Most Likely To Think The March Ends At A Shelter
“GOP Farts Need To Give The Homeless Shopping Carts!”
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Most Likely To Be Burned In Effigy By Confused British Tourists
How Can He Be Guy Fawkes And Anonymous At The Same Time?
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Most Likely To Have Read The Hunger Games…47 Times
Is That A Mockingjay, Katniss? Shit, District 12 Is Going Down!
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Most Likely To Lose A Few Pounds This Week
“Dude, You Got Some Glucosamine On You? My Knees Are Killing Me.”
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Most Likely To Have Made Her Sign In Her Car…While Driving
“Umm, Yeah…I Am A Philosophy Major. Yeah, I Smoke Cloves. How’d You Know?”
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Most Likely To Know Who Marie Antoinette Was
Also, The Protester Who Should Most Likely Lay Off The Cake
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Most Likely To Be Huge Flock Of Seagulls Fans
Actually, It’s A Pretty Bad Song. I Never Liked It Much. Perhaps We Should Declare War On I Ran.
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Most Likely To Engage In Foreplay During March On RNC
Bet She Met A Lot Of “Blind” People That Day
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Banner Most Likely To Shock Ann Romney
Ann Romney: “Did You Hear? Someone Wrote The V-Word On A Banner. They Wouldn’t Get Away With That If We Were In Michigan Right Now!”
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Most Likely To Get Paul Ryan’s Attention
Paul Ryan: “Hey, One Of The Two Times I Passed A Bill Was So That I Could Rename A Post Office!”
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Most Likely To Have Belonged To An Eric Estrada Fan Club
FHiPS Just Doesn’t Have The Same Ring To It As CHiPS
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Most Likely To Be Confused With The Multiple Listing Service
I Wouldn’t Go With A Sans Serif Font Next Time Around
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Most Useless Celebrity At The RNC
Actor Evan Handler From “Sex In The City” – “Damn, It’s Muggy. I’m So Glad I Didn’t Wear Socks With These Loafers. What Are Those People Shouting About Back There?”
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Worst Attempt At A Mitt Romney Insult
You Couldn’t Think Of Something That Rhymes Better With Mitt? I Can.
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Biggest Celebrity To Turn Up For The March On The RNC
Friar Tuck: Please, No More Stories About Sherwood Forest. We Get It. You Hung Out With Robin Hood. You’re A Rebel.
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Least Likely To Get Pregnant During The RNC
“We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Planned Parenthood! We’ve Got Saran Wrap.”
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Most Likely To Become Daily Show Correspondents
“Yeah, Barack Hussein Obama Is A Muslim – So What? At Least He Doesn’t Believe In Magic Underwear.”
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Most Likely To Be Jeb Bush’s Campaign Slogan for 2016
Jeb Bush: “Now, ‘Greed Over People’ Has Got A Nice Ring To It. It’s Simple. It’s Sweet. I Like It.”
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Most Confused Protesters
Are You Sure You Aren’t Mister And Mister 99%? Mr. 1% Would Be Wearing Abercrombie.
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Least Likely To Be Invited To The Neighborhood Potluck In The Tampa Burbs
Distance Between Gainesville And Tampa: 130 Miles. Nope, We’re Not Neighbors.
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Most Likely To Have Protested George Romney At The RNC In 1968
Alternative Message: Mitt Romney’s America The Beautiful Hurt America More Than Roseanne Barr’s Star Spangled Banner Ever Did
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Photo credits:
All photos are the sole property of Miss Snarky Pants and Cristy Lewis.
Funnier In Writing 
LOL!!! Seriously made my day!
OMG, are you staying up all night BB or do these awesome riffs just roll out of your head as you roll out of bed? You need to tweet these to The Daily Show….I’ll take your RNC coverage any day over the major networks. Samantha Bee’s got nothing on you. Am sending out via FB and Twitter so everyone I know can start their day with a Miss Snarky Pants smile. =)
You’re so awesome. I was up pretty darn late!
Lol! You are rather brilliant, do you know that? 🙂
No, I didn’t know that, but I’ll take the compliment run. I am, after all, a woman who is still in her pajamas and craving coffee right now.
I don’t need no stinkin’ Jon Stewart, I get my news from Miss Snarky Pants.
And I get mine from Jon Stewart…so it all works out in the end.
Yeah, I was going to say that I was getting all my RNC news from you and Jon Stewart. Also, I couldn’t tell if that was the guy from Sex and the City or Pitbull, so thanks for clearing that up.
Well, at least you’re getting your news from one reliable news source. I just make stuff up. Sometimes.
Nice! I like your coverage. Can we expect an uber-political post soon?
Probably a few leading up to the election. But right now I have to get ready to head over to get my “Daily Show” tickets. Oh, yeah!
I’m so jealous! Congrats!
I can’t wait! We got in one of the earlier groups too, so we should have really awesome seats. Yay!
Loved the post. You’ve got a future as a curmudgeon, funny, true and just a smidgen of venom to make sure the point sticks.
Man, I am so excited about my future now. A curmudgeon, huh? Damn, almost makes me wish I was a man so I could look forward to my balls drooping and hair growing out of strange orifices.
Okay. I’ll buy a thesaurus and use the gender correct word. The one that jumped to mind was snarky old bag. You’re neither. So off to the bookstore.
No, I like curmudgeon. I suspect that Mark Twain was a curmudgeon when he got older and I aspire to be like him…except not quite so poor. He made a lot of bad investments.
He had an awesome house in Hartford CT. A walk through and you really get a sense of genius.
I’m no vigilante but I might shoot a some of the people in these pictures for smelling bad. Hoodies in Tampa in August? The liberal agenda shouldn’t stink, people. It should practice better hygiene. At least the vaginas were clean. That’s important.
Romneyville was definitely short on hygiene. You’ll notice that my photos get progressively further and further away from the protesters over time.
A telephoto lens is very handy in times of protest. You should get hazard pay…well first you should get pay and THEN you should get hazard pay. Why isn’t someone paying you? I’m going to protest. Get me my black hoodie!
No, I don’t want you to get shot by one of those “helpful” neighborhood watch people.
The real tragedy is the bore said by mitt the twit instead of covering ron Paul OR the fact that the RNC changed the rules almost e v e r y single day
Erm…okay. I agree that it was shameful that the RNC didn’t give Ron Paul the coverage that he deserved at the convention. They’re only screwing themselves because he could have turned votes Mitt’s way…but I don’t consider that to be a tragedy. It just confirms why I am voting for Obama!
You really should have covered our convention. The Greens are much more award-worthy. That’s on the convention floor, where the public was ALLOWED. Well, I take that back. It’s apples & oranges. We didn’t have any protestors. Barely had any press.
If you could get onto the floor of the GOP convention, I’m sure we’d get a magnificent post from you.
I’m certain the Green Party would have been magnificent subjects for my blog.
I have been trying so hard (and it’s futile) to avoid politics lately. But who could resist this? Humor as the great unifier. Since I live in the black helicopter headquarters of the world, and probably the protesting center of the universe, I feel your pain. And if I could be half as funny as you, I’d run for office myself. Hey…
Thanks, Ms. T! Though I meander into the world of political humor on occasion, I tend to stay away as politics is proving to be the most partisan. I’m so glad that you enjoyed this, but I will be returning to my traditional programming soon…now that the RNC is finally over and the helicopters have stopped hovering over my building.
Love the pictorial! I’m ready to enlist in a war on I Ran! I saw them in concert once, actually, with The Fixx. It was magical. But damn, that hair! http://cdn.pjmedia.com/eddriscoll/files/2012/06/obama_flock_of_seagulls_big_6-6-12.jpg
Thanks, Laura. Now The Fixx, that’s a band I can get behind. I think the Flock of Seagulls hair was much better than the song “I Ran.”
“Mr 1% would be wearing Abercrombie.” Priceless.
Not to be argumentative, but if Abercrombie was priceless, then the 99% could afford to wear it.
No, I know what you meant…and thank you, dahlink!
Psh. Snark, snark, snark. Ever since you got those new pants, it’s just All Snark All The Time. You have wounded me, and now I’m going to go drown my sorrows in bacon and vodka. (You’re very welcome!)
You really know how to hurt a girl, dontcha? Hope that bacon was crispy, bee-yatch!
P.S. I love you, Kathy!
I push buttons because I care.
So good, so funny. You are crazy talented but your funny posts are my jam. Loved it.
Thanks, Simon. Right back at you, funny guy!
With these kind of voters, no wonder the Dems are losing grounds.
I know. I was particularly disappointed in the people who had no signs. They just showed up and sauntered along as though someone promised them coffee and a donut if they’d walk a mile with the group.
I miss the Liberals of olden days,you know the Kennedy’s days.Those Libs have more concern for others and RESPECT the Republicans as a fair opponents.Also They Love USA–and HATE the Commies.They are HARDCORE in their believe.Although those old Libs got things right but their next generation got saturated in petty radicalism and you know….. The LSD Induced Hippies.
The Libs today are so comical in comparison with the old ones.
The only way to make a protest memorable is if everybody moonwalks the entire time.
Actually, nakedness is even better – except I think we should wear shoes. There’s a lot of broken glass and crap in the streets here.