Today, I’m cheating. I’m stealing the book of alice’s format right out from under her, just this once. Why? Because I met the most hilarious 7 year old boy at an Independence Day pool party this afternoon.
Dripping wet and shivering, Freddie was searching for a dry towel.
Me: Do you want to use one of my towels? They’re dry.
Me: Why not? I promise, I don’t have cooties.
Freddie: I know, but I don’t want to give you cooties.
Me: Oh, I doubt you have any cooties. Haven’t you had your cootie shot?
Me: (taking Freddie’s arm in my hand, I draw two circles then poke him with my finger tip twice) Circle, circle, dot, dot. Now you’ve got your cootie shot.
Freddie: (a look of humor mixed with a healthy dose of disdain on his chocolate-smudged face) What is that? Some kind of baby rhyme?
Erm…yeah. If baby rhyme means the desperate attempt of a 43 year old woman to make a recent first grade graduate laugh, that’s what I was doing. But he did ask for my digits so that he can rap for me on the phone. And when a kid wearing at least eleven different shades of glitter nail polish on his fingers and toes, with blue and reds stripes in his dark blonde hair offers to throw down some rhymes for you, the only correct response is Hell, yeah!
Watch out, Jack White. Freddie’s about to make you irrelevant.
Please follow me on Facebook by clicking here because it’s the only way you’ll ever find out if I suddenly die of a brain aneurysm. I mean, I’m not going to blog about it from the grave. And wouldn’t you feel like a shit for cussing me out because I hadn’t posted in weeks or months and it turned out I was dead. And leaving a cheap ass bouquet of grocery store carnations at my grave isn’t going to make it okay. I mean, I’m pretty mellow on Earth, but who knows what will happen when I pop off. An evil, vengeance is mine attitude could make an appearance and you don’t want me wreaking havoc upon you from whatever version of Hell I’m in. After all, I’ll probably be in a lousy mood and I could end up taking it out on your fine china and crystal.