About Miss Snarky Pants

Miss Snarky Pants with makeup and fancy camera filters. She has books behind her...because she is a writer. Original, huh?

Miss Snarky Pants with makeup and fancy camera filters. She has books behind her…because she is a writer. Original, huh?

Miss Snarky Pants was a girl who never had an imaginary friend because all the imaginary friends had nice, proper children to play with – not freakishly smart, painfully thin, blabbermouths who refused to remove their Ken doll’s swimming trunks because they thought they’d go straight to Hell if they discovered what was hidden beneath. She used to love Jesus – until she found out that he was cheating on her with 2.1 billion other people. After enduring years of parochial schooling and frequent appointments with the principal’s paddle, Miss Snarky Pants grew into a freakishly smart(ass), plainfully plump, blabbermouth who became an attorney because she heard there was no math on the LSAT. She’s working on the plump part…one bowl of vegan soup at a time.

This is also the blog formerly known as Paltry Meanderings of a Taller Than Average Woman. Clearly, Miss Snarky Pants didn’t spend much time thinking about her blog name when she first began blogging or she would have come up with one that people could remember. In this blog, she blathers on about things that many people, given the chance and sufficient alcohol, also enjoy blathering on about. If you read it, no one will like you better, nor will you get any younger. However, Miss Snarky Pants will give you a prize. Maybe. Well, probably not. Her words are her gift to you.

That last statement made her an official pompous ass. And her photo makes her look like an ethereal, goth poseur who used up every last bit of eyeliner on the planet. Worst of all, talking about herself in third person on her About page makes her absolutely insufferable.

Bet you can’t wait to read more…

Miss Snarky Pants In The A.M. – No Makeup. No Coffee. No Smile. Do Not Stalk Miss Snarky Pants Because This Is The Version Who Will Likely Open The Door. And Eat You.

144 comments

  1. indiaphare

    I love your blog – it’s hilarious. Thanks for mkaing me laugh so much – I may not be getting younger but I’m getting healthier if laughing is really good for you!

    • ivytobin

      Hi, I am new to WP and love your blog. Please check out my blog; The Society for Recovering Doormats. I suspect some of your humor might bring out the inner doormat in some peeps, and I’d love to rehabilitate them. I’m not a trained mental health specialist; just a recovering doormat with a Society.

    • cristycarringtonlewis

      Just curious…did you ever used to say you were 5’11 and 3/4″ just to avoid being 6 feet tall? My mom used to claim to be 5’6 and 3/4″. I always wondered if she was either desperate to be as close to 5’7″ as possible and was emphasizing her height, or if she was really 5’7″ and just felt too tall. Personally, I think 6 foot is a nice round number, tall number, whatever.

    • ninaws

      Just like you and your wife, I’m 5’10” and my boyfriend is 6’6″. I love seeing pictures of us together because it makes me feel like a normal, petite little thing. Good stuff!

    • cristycarringtonlewis

      Fortunately, my husband is also 5’10” so we’re perfectly matched. Although, he wouldn’t care if I was 6’4″. I think the only deal killer would be if I grew a mustache. Or if he grew one, for that matter. Although, if he grew one of those handlebar staches and wore a red and white striped suit with a straw hat, I might reconsider.

    • Frank Hodgkins

      When my grandfather, well into the dirty-old-man stage of his existence, saw couples such as you and your former 5-foot-tall date together, he would say: “Nose to nose, her toes are in it; toes to toes, her nose is in it”!

    • cristycarringtonlewis

      I was told today that my blog doesn’t have a very good name. My friend is probably right, but he wasn’t counting on all the tall chicks out there who totally get it. We’re a tribe of people whose pants are always just a little bit too short. Our knees are shot from scrunching down in group photos and, if our platform heels are too tall, we’re often mistaken for drag queens. I promise to represent your glory and your pain, my tall friend!

      • cathayadventures

        The name of your blog definitely drew me to read your post, because as a 6’0 woman, I totally get it! I love being tall, even if it comes with the annoyance (or amusement) of shoes salespeople laughing nervously when you ask for shoes in your size, complete strangers asking if my boyfriend is taller than me, and man, the short pants thing. Thanks for the laughs, and congrats on being freshly pressed!

    • cristycarringtonlewis

      You clearly don’t drink anything really hot with breakfast. If you do, however, be careful because if I get funnier, you might spit out your hot beverage and burn yourself severely. I don’t think I could live with that. Glad that I’m helping you start your day out right. Keep in mind my blog has seven grams of fiber in it too! Nothing like being regular.

  2. Chellendipity

    I happened upon your meanderings and have to tell you, they were thoroughly enjoyed! On a side note – I too am a taller than average at 5’9…and I wear 4″ heels daily!! My motto is the taller the better!!!! :-) I just started blogging and since I follow along the same lines as you do – I felt the need to say kudos to you and be damned the short that ridicule!!!!

  3. Stacie Chadwick

    I am shorter than the average woman. Nevertheless we share a similar writing style. I think. Does this make me arrogant since you’ve now appeared on Freshly Pressed? No. It makes me envious.

    Check out my blog if you can, we also share thematic style. Are you a Gemini by chance? I’m not trying to be creepy and ask inappropriate questions, just wondering if we might have a blogging trifecta. If so, I’m off to buy a lottery ticket, and when I win? I’m gonna be way too busy hanging out with movie stars I pay to hang out with me, to blog. If I don’t win, perhaps we could be new blogger besties (I started about a month ago) and cross-promote via our blogrolls. Just a thought.

    Great content.
    =)

    • cristycarringtonlewis

      Wow! I, too, am a brand new blogger. Don’t even ask me how this whole Freshly Pressed thing happened because I truly don’t know. But I’m grateful. Regardless, how cool is it that you want us to be blogger besties (made even better by the fact that Amy on “The Big Bang Theory” is always calling Penny her “bestie” and it’s way creepy, but kinda sweet). I’m not a Gemini, but I’m drawn to bright colors and patterns – hence my theme. Not sure if I’ll stick with it longterm because I’m not crazy about how the blog name looks against the background, but we’ll see.

      Before I was Freshly Pressed, I also envied another humor writer who was. However, not being very blog-savvy, I assumed that she’d been blogging a long time and had some super hero social media skills that I didn’t have – along with some very real talent – and that’s why she was on the Freshly Pressed page. And then I ended up there. And I really don’t have any blogging or social media skills at all. I’ve just been writing…poetry, articles, screenplays, essays, copywriting, legal memos, press crap for work and, finally, a novel…for all these years. Okay, the novel only took me six months and then I started blogging last week. Then boom. Over a thousand emails in my account in just over a day…all notifying that someone liked my post, followed my blog, or commented on a post. It was overwhelming and beautiful and flattering. I hope it happens to you very soon because it’s a huge ego boost and it makes me feel like I’m headed in the right direction. More importantly, all these amazing people who followed me are counting on me now to entertain them and I’m totally committed to that. It’s such an honor for anyone to take the time to read something that you write, and when people commit to checking out everything you write, it’s like they’re saying that they have faith in you. Wow!

      Okay, bestie. Your turn…

      • Stacie Chadwick

        OK, so how did this Freshly Pressed thing happen? =p

        I agree with you about the commitment aspect of blogging. At first, I bribed and begged anyone who was even mildly related to me (like, the kid who bags my groceries) to sign up. Then I started getting random likes and comments and interesting people clicking that magic follow button (that’s not to say the people I bribed and begged aren’t interesting, but it’s really hard to say no to me when I’m paying you every week to teach my kid piano, or you’re my mom), and it felt like I’d won the lottery every time someone new wanted to hear what I have to say. 1,000 emails in a day? Now I know why you’re up at 1:22 a.m.

        I’ve been writing a YA novel for over a year, but at a very slow, and fa-la-la-la-laie kind of pace (six months….are you bionic?). I started this blog to force myself to commit to writing 5 – 6 days a week, and to come out of the closet a bit (very dark and lonely writing in a small space). If I thought blog envy was bad, novel envy is even WORSE! =)

        I’m following you now. Besties do that you know (that is, follow each other around), especially in middle school.

        BTW, you might think about changing the font color of your header to white or black until you decide if you want a new theme. I agree, the chocolate brown is a little distracting (since this is now my 5th week of blogging, I am now an expert on all things blog, and besties always tell each other how it is).

        Thanks for the thoughtful comment on my comment….looking forward to continuing the conversation!

      • cristycarringtonlewis

        Seriously, I don’t know how the Freshly Pressed thing happened. Two days ago, I’d just posted my 5th post in less than a week – the one about the dead dog sonnet. It was mid-morning, but only a couple “likes” trickled in. I consoled myself with the fact that it was early in the day. So I ate lunch and stalled for time, checking my blog every so often to see if anyone was reading my new piece. Crickets.

        Then, a little after 1:30, traffic suddenly started to pick up. I figured, “It’s lunch time in the Midwest. What else do they have to do while they eat a sandwich but read a blog?” Checking my email, I notice a wordpress notification which informed me that my post had been promoted to Freshly Pressed, and that I was now in an elite group. Though it didn’t tell me why my post was selected, it did offer a lift of things you can to to try to become Freshly Pressed. When I checked later, it turns out that the same list is available in the FAQ section online. Then all Hell broke loose.

        You’re lucky that you were able to bribe friends and family members to follow your blog. I’ve tried. I think I’ve got either two or three friend/family followers, but one is on wordpress and nicer than most people, and the other is my husband. I nagged him until he did it. I make him read every single blog post anyway, so he doesn’t really need an email reminder.

        My novel began as a YA, but the feedback I’m getting from agents and writer friends is that it’s more likely contemporary or literary fiction, with a YA crossover. Which I, personally, think is awesome because I’d love for adults to read it too. I’m surprised I was able to write it that quickly, as well, but I’m fairly prolific (no kidding, huh?) and I really enjoy writing once I get into a project. It doesn’t feel like work. My husband would say that’s because I’m not getting paid to do it. I am bionic, by the way – but it’s more of a physical thing that doesn’t impact my writing speed. My brain can’t keep up with my bionic fingers, so it’s really only useful for knitting. And I don’t knit.

        I think I will change the font color. Maybe you can give me feedback on the new one? I’m extremely open to your blogging expertise as I have none. If you’d like to know how to make an excellent gimlet on the other hand, I’m your girl.

        I will be following you as well, but not because we’re blogging besties or because your block rocks. I just like the idea of following someone because it makes me feel like I’m in a cult and I have a leader. I haven’t felt that way since I became an agnostic. Maybe this is how Tom Cruise feels? Totally kidding – not about being agnostic – but about caring about how Tom Cruise feels. Here’s to bestie blind faith. (Please don’t be a crazy person or make me drink poisoned Kool-Aid.)

    • Laura

      Ok, I feel like I just have to get in on this, even tho I feel like an interloper. I believe I may have a similar writing style to both of you, and I’m also 5’10” (so, technically, that gives me a leg up–or two–on Stacie, but that’s just a technicality). I want in. I’m always looking for other people who write funny stuff, at least part of the time. I’ve been blogging for over a year now (or is it two?) and am just now getting subscribers and likes from people who don’t know me and aren’t on the payroll (emotional or otherwise). I don’t blog every day or every week, necessarily, because I want to strech out my credibility for as long as possible before people catch on to the fact that I’m an artist and single mother and doer of a great many things before blogging. But I like writing and adding pictures for visual interest. I’m going to check out more of both of your blogs now!! If you’d like to check out mine to see if our styles are similar (and perhaps, perhaps I’ll be voted onto the island), start with a shortie http://liveclay.wordpress.com/2011/10/26/porn-flakes/ or a longie http://liveclay.wordpress.com/2011/09/11/isabella-and-the-heart-palpitations/ and I thank you!

      • Stacie Chadwick

        I’m a big believer in having as many besties as possible. You never know when one bestie is going to slip you a note that says you are no longer besties (although I would never do that, so not to point fingers or anything, but it’s gonna end up being one of you, which gives me a 50% chance of getting dumped).

        As far as height goes, I have some super killer stilettos that I can pull out if I have to. You two, however, would be required to wear flats. Or crocs. Which I hate even though I live in CO and all my family wears them.

      • cristycarringtonlewis

        The only crocs I’m wearing are a pair of slip-on, crocodile skin Tod’s loafers. My head’s been shaking since I read that part about those holy, fugly shoes. No offense, bestie, but that is some ugly footwear. I get kids wearing them because they’re plastic and you can rinse them off with a hose when they get dirty. Everything from childhood should be rinsable with a hose.

        Re: heels, I reserve the right to wear them if I want to, but my knees won’t let me get away with it very often anymore. Thank god ballet flats are in style. You’re a strong, secure, petite woman and I know you’d never let a couple of tall chicks steal your thunder. Anyway, you’ll be getting all the attention anyway because you have MINIONS.

      • Laura

        Yes, I agree with as many besties as possible! I seriously have not found that many blogs/bloggers to bond with, maybe because I don’t have a lot of time to troll the categories, front page, etc. I just happened to catch this title and started reading and schwing! I’ve taken on two new subscriptions in one day. Stacie, I agree re: crocs and at the same time I’m embarrassed to admit that they make the best studio shoes ever! I sort of wear them year-round in there, along with my pajama-esque pants and peacock feather cape. Being self-employed really does have its benefits.

      • cristycarringtonlewis

        I would imagine that crocs would be a good studio shoe. Why? Because – as I pointed out to Stacie – they’re rinsable. If you get glaze or paint on them (love your work, btw – so wish I had that talent!), no big whoop. As I am also at home most of the day, I love these comfy slippers I have and live in them because we have terrazzo floors – which are always freezing cold. Pajama-esque pants are an absolute necessity. Now this peacock feather cape of which you speak…I’m dying to know more about this. It sounds fabulous. I mean, capes are so dramatic and groovy – and peacock feathers are simply the best feather known to Man. Combine the two and I’m sure it’s like when peanut butter and chocolate met (and had sticky sex from what I hear). Perhaps you have a photo you can post?

  4. Paris D'Aglion

    …also tall and proud, and now that my boobs aren’t so far ahead of me I’m not hunching as much as I did in my (embarrassed) youth, so I’m even taller. ;-)
    Keep ‘em coming.

  5. Mike Booth

    Godammit Reba, I bumped into your blog by accident on a morning I have a lot of work to do and couldn’t stop reading. Congratulations. You must be doing something right to captivate a rank Northener like me.

    • cristycarringtonlewis

      Can I just say that I love that you called me, Reba? Glad you enjoyed the blog and thanks for your congratulations. Hope you’ll be back.

      I love captivating Northerners. I make them listen to the only four country songs I know: “Sweet Home Alabama,” “The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia,” “Fancy” and “Islands in the Stream” and eat pole beans and watch me skin squirrels. Okay, more like watch me feed squirrels. They’re so cute. And indecisive. When they’re really indecisive, they end up with tire tracks across they’re backs and then the aren’t nearly as cute.

  6. thisismethisisme

    don’t worry, you’re not alone. I’m 5-10 on a good day and 5-11 after physiotherapy (they’re sadists, those little minions with the knack for making me an inch taller after a session!) — thing is, people treat tall people, particularly taller women, differently. I’ve noticed it. Hell, I’ve even done it to women taller (oh yes) than I am. Dating is a nightmare and dancing just looks wrong. I used to have hang-ups, sometimes I still do. But for the most part, I just get on with it.

    Thanks for this blog.

    • cristycarringtonlewis

      Amazonian Goddess? Seriously? You don’t have to pay anyone to call you that? How do I get in on that action? Someone in my family really needs to start calling me, Amazonian Goddess, right away. Heck, I’d be happy with Floridian Goddess or even F.G. I bow to your powers oh Amazonian Goddess. Clearly, you have your family trained well.

  7. domesticscramblings

    I have to admit I am extremely jealous of every tall woman’s verticalness. (Yes spell check I know that’s not a word…) However, I am finding your blog very amusing! I will learn to embrace my shortness, which at 5’3″ isn’t so terribly short, but I like to complain and then lie and say I’m 5’4″ cause that’s the kind of person I am. Anywho, kudos to all your tallness and your fantastic blog! :)

  8. Boggleton Drive

    “Maybe I’ll check out just one more blog” I say to myself. I am simultaneously happy and upset I chose yours. Happy because this is great stuff, upset because it is now 12 midnight. Blast! Thanks for the enjoyable read :)

    • cristycarringtonlewis

      Oooooh, the witching hour! My avatar turns into a pumpkin at midnight – and on full moons, you can imagine what happens. I stand outside my front door, staring at the glowing silver disk, and my husband yells, “Stop looking at the porch light! You’re gonna hurt your eyes.” I’m easily distracted by bright, shiny things, but once my eyes re-focus on the actual moon, I usually pull out my trusty camera, take a few shots that will end up blurry because I never use a tripod and then go inside and wax my legs. You know, just in case I got bit by a mosquito who also bit a werewolf once. Everyone used to say you could get AIDS that way (turns out it wasn’t true), but this virus is different because it’s been around a lot longer and wolves are sneaky, if you ask me.

  9. Stacie Chadwick

    OK, wordpress is not letting me reply to your last comment. I think that’s the magic monitor genie’s way of saying “take it offline.” I like the cult part, as long it’s leaderless, we can caucus in Cabo once a year, and drink your vodka gimlets.

    So speaking of your bionic knitting fingers? The person who owns the url staciechadwick.com blogs about knitting. I’m totally serious. Check it out. She has four followers, and not to be snotty but I really want that URL. I was thinking of planning some type of aggressive comment campaign but I feel sort of bad. Maybe I’ll do it on a day when I haven’t slept the night before because on those days I can really be mean. Or maybe I’ll just ask nicely and she’ll say “OK.” But I doubt it.

    In all seriousness, you are the FUNNIEST person I’ve found wordpress, and I troll blogs, like every night (not to offend other super funny people, but read this blog and you’ll see what I’m talking about). I’m so so so happy for your feature on Freshly Pressed. You are incredibly humble and downplay your talent, but you were featured because you are an awesome writer. I’m looking forward to continuing the conversation!

    • cristycarringtonlewis

      I read your comment before we left for dinner tonight. I couldn’t respond because how does one respond to someone saying you’re “the FUNNIEST person” they’ve found on wordpress. In caps, even. There’s a huge difference between “the funniest” and “the FUNNIEST.” And then you threw in all that humble stuff. Man! Well, I might have been humble before, but if you keep this up, I’m going to get a massive ego and I’ll have to go up a dress size – which in turn would make me humble again because no one wants to go up a dress size. Anyway, thank you. Seriously. It’s so nice to have people bother to read anything I write. Nothing makes me happier than to make someone laugh or be inspired or be thoughtful or whatever because of something I’ve written. And people like you really inspire me because you’re so talented yourself, but you still think what I’m doing is worthwhile and you’re encouraging me to continue. And you wanted to be my bestie. Shucks. I’m definitely looking forward to hangin’ with you on the wordpress street corner (why can’t they have a cafe or something?) and Laura and anyone else out there who wants to throw down some words (and maybe a martini…but I guess you’d throw that back, wouldn’t you?). Wow…you rock, Stacie. Thanks for making my night. :)

  10. christine

    Um, okay, I just noticed that you are a recovering attorney. Which makes me smile, because I got a JD but never bothered to practice. Not even for one day. In fact, I never even bothered to take the bar exam. Which might make me crazy, and might make me brilliant. I prefer to imagine the latter is true.

    If you happen to be curious about what other non- and former-attorney types are up to, you should absolutely check out my classmate/acquaintance Tyler Coulson’s blog. I linked to it the day I bestowed the ever-so-generous workload that is the 7×7 award upon Paltry Meanderings. He quit his big law job and walked across the U.S. with his amazing dog, Mabel. Absolutely fabulous.

    Okay I’ll stop now. Cheers to you, Cristy!

    • cristycarringtonlewis

      I have a tremendous fondness for people who attended law school and never practiced. In fact, one of my dearest friends, Stephanie – who attended law school with me – refused to take the bar and is now a writer, a mother, a wife and a liver (I don’t mean the organ) of life in exotic lands. Doesn’t that sound vastly more interesting? My respect extends to people like myself (Hey, Bruce Willis insists that you must “Respect Yourself”) who have been to the Dark Side, then said, “Man! A lot of these lawyers I’m dealing with are real assholes.” I said a lot, not all (that statement is for my friends who are still in practice and aren’t assholes). Anyway, I knew I liked you. And I’m sure I’ll like Tyler Coulson, too. Thanks for the skinny on us recovering types.

  11. rococonnor

    Yes, trained to argue all sides so well… you argued yourself out of it… inevitably. Not a lawyer, but a linguist appreciating the wordplay of it… and of this blog.

  12. Fiercely Glamazonian

    hello:) i stumbled upon your blog today & i can’t stop reading your posts! most 16yr olds dont really spend time reading things like this but i love it! Your blog is amazing! I can’t wait to read more of you posts. I am a huge fan of yours already! You are so talented!

    • cristycarringtonlewis

      Wow, Fierce One! Can I just say that having a 16 year old fan is worth twenty 40 year old fans (no offense, old fogies – I’m one of you) ’cause teens know the definition of funny. If I can make you laugh, then I must be doing something right. Thanks so much for reading and please continue to visit! Glad to have you in my corner.

  13. juliamarisa9

    Today I nominated & gave you The Versatile Blogger Award. I like your blog and thought you deserved this award. If you choose to accept the Versatile Blogger Award, there are a few things you are required to do, to pass it forward. According to the requirements of the award you must:
    • Nominate 15 other bloggers
    • Inform my nominees
    • Share 7 random facts about myself
    • Thank the one who nominated me
    • Add a picture of the award to this post
    To see your blog included in the award ceremony just click here…
    http://aphraseyoullremember.wordpress.com/2012/02/26/accepting-an-award/

    I hope you enjoy the award and accept it and pass it forward.

  14. Anna

    This caught my attention, “The average woman is apparently just under 5 and 1/2 feet tall.” Seriously? This makes me feel so much better! Lol. And hats off to your blog. I enjoy reading your funny posts! :)

    • cristycarringtonlewis

      Why, thank you, Sensible Susan! I’m in the middle of a move – lots of unpacking – but I will address this dubious, and most versatile, award in due time. I’m glad you are tall and are telling all your friends about me. Once I have a kitchen that isn’t contained in boxes and wrapped in newspaper, I will resume my role in the blogosphere…but right now, I really just need a massage and a couple of unpaid helpers to unwrap my and my husband’s life, dust it off, and find a place for it in our condo. Downsizing sucks!

  15. patriciapark

    Hi there! I just stumbled upon your hilarious blog as I was searching “David Sedaris” and “owls,” of all things. Having just blogged about how Sedaris offered me $3 abortions, you could say I was in a certain mood. I’d love to swap sites for blog rolls; please let me know if you’re game! Keep up the writing!

    • cristycarringtonlewis

      As it is late and I’m way overdo for my visit to Bedforshire, I will delay until the morrow, but I’m excited to read your blog. Sounds like it’s right up my alley. If I like it, I will definitely add you to my blog roll and would love for you to do the same. Thanks for dropping by! Always love me a David Sedaris fan!

  16. patriciapark

    I just found your hilarious blog after a search on “David Sedaris” and “owls.” Having just blogged about Sedaris offering me $3 abortions, I feel like we’re in good company. I’d love to swap sites/add each other to blog rolls; please let me know if you’re game! Keep up the writing.

    KoreanBodega.com

  17. Midwest Poetess

    I’m 5’9″. I also have a close relationship with A-1 Steak Sauce and I am enjoying your blog.

    • cristycarringtonlewis

      Are you sure I haven’t seen you on Comedy Central or something? Or do you have three feet and the 27 inches refers to…length? That could be very complimentary depending on how you look at it.

      • freddyflow

        Well, not to brag, but I am one of Clarence Thomas’s favorite (male) actors. Just as you’re “Taller than Average Woman,” I’m like all the children in Lake Woebegon–above average. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got the local circus freak show on hold…

  18. Pingback: Thanks for “You Can’t Fix Stupid” « Wandering Voiceless
  19. tennizzlle

    Argh, I have just been trawling your blog looking for somewhere to logically write to you and now I have blog envy! 42,827 hits?!?!?!?!?!? I will never be able to compete!
    So, I got a response from WordPress and I suspect the not-showing-in-reader business had something to do with the fact that I recently got my own domain and cut the wordpress part of my URL. That makes sense, I guess WP was confused as to where I had gone, so just wasn’t showing me.
    And here I was thinking my popularity was just slipping… Consider my ego re-inflated :)

    • cristycarringtonlewis

      That’s what we thought at first, but people’s blogs are appearing and disappearing at random on the reader these days. I’ve sent five emails to wordpress in just the last couple weeks. They’re still trying to figure out what the real problem is. Hopefully, I’ll keep seeing your blogs! And as far as blog hits go, you don’t need to compete with me. I was lucky and got Freshly Pressed. I still have no idea how or why. :)

  20. fivereflections

    hello – looking at your words – reflects the thoughts within – nice meeting you…

    David in Maine USA

  21. rachelm788

    This makes me laugh quite considerably. As one who has just began blogging and can only dream of reaching your levels of awesome, I bow to thee…

    (which is awkward, seeing as I’m 6″3 and it’s the bane of my existence)

    • cristycarringtonlewis

      I have levels of awesome? That’s just…well, awesome! Please don’t bow though… I don’t treat my subscribers as subjects (as some bloggers I know do), but as friends.

      6’3″ is fucking tall. You make me feel like a whiny wuss for ever complaining about my height. Have you blogged yet about the inevitable questions that you HATE getting from average-sized people? You know – do you play basketball or volleyball? What’s the weather like up there? That kinda crap? I bet you’ve got terrific ammunition for a post on that topic.

      As a taller-than-average girl, I have to ask where you buy your pants. I’m always trying to find pants that are long enough because even though I’m only 5’10”, I have a 34″ inseam.

      • rachelm788

        You do indeed, fairly substantial levels!
        Yes, it is quite tall. I don’t really like it… I get all sorts of crap from everyone, in work, in Uni, on nights out, in the friggin street! It’s ridiculous, although I do use an inordinate amount of sarcasm in response…. “Wow, you’re tall” “Wow! You have hair!”

        Haha, well, as a Brit, “pants” aren’t the same thing at all. I’m going to assume you mean trousers, as it’s a bit too forward for you to be asking about my underwear…

        It’s incredibly difficult, there’s places like Long Tall Sally (even the name sounds terrible!) and shops like Next and Marks and Spencer often have decent “tall” sections. My real problem is shoes. Size 11 UK is reaaaallly big, so I’m more often than not in hi tops and other such apparel! I hear they have bigger sizes in the US, so I’m planning on visiting and stocking up as soon as I can afford airfare (as a student, that’s a long way off…)

        P.S. Saw you gave my post a wee read. Cheers!

  22. theamazingmj

    I really enjoy the view you have on life and the ability you have to put ideas together. The things you have written are very good. Having just started out I know your blog and abilities are good examples of where I hope to be some day!

  23. transparentguy

    Like the name change and new intro. WordPress puts everything in my reader except the blogs I look forward to reading. It seems like the blogs I follow never show up in the reader.

    • cristycarringtonlewis

      Tell me about it! I’m just totally behind on my reading right now. Trying to catch up today. Still have lots of work to do on the new site. Glad you like it. Will be changing the intro some, but keeping in the Dr. Who bit. Can’t help it; I’m a giant nerd.

  24. Pingback: White Noise | honiebriggs
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  26. Angry Demon

    Great Blog.Love your intelligent blabbering .If your a Marvel character than you’ll be X-23 ( you look alot like her ).

  27. writingfeemail

    Hi, I’m participating in nanowrimo so everything – including email – is way behind. But the word count is good. Yay! As for your question about RWA conferences, I have never attended. I probably should but since I am without publisher so far, although I have a request for a revision – keep your fingers crossed – I have thought I would probably just get lost in the crowd. How about you?

    • Miss Snarky Pants

      My dear friend and amazeballs romantic suspense author, Karen Rose invited me to my first local RWA meeting and then took me to my first national conference. You just can’t beat nationals. RWA is one of the most professional organizations within the field that I’ve come across and their conferences are a MUST if you write romance. You wouldn’t believe the access you get to editors and agents, plus the opportunities to meet other writers, both fledgling and uber successful, is astounding. It’s sounds like you’re doing really well on you’re own, but I would highly recommend becoming involved with RWA. I could wax on and on about it in the blogosphere, but maybe we should just chat about it someday when you have time. :)

  28. Robert

    Oh crap. I just found out that this was supposed to be a HUMOR BLOG. There goes my last five years re-structuring my life around the inherent wisdom posted here. I’m screwed.

  29. haidee87

    I just laughed out loud in my open-plan office and received one too many strange stares – but i don’t care, I love your humour and blatant honesty. Why can’t there be more people like you in the world – there are far too many awkward people in the world who just don’t know how to say what they truly feel. Just spit it out for God sake. Oh, and by the way, I am also a taller than average woman ;)

    • Miss Snarky Pants

      Thanks so much for the encouragement, but let me assure you that I’m still totally awkward! I’m not sure if most people really want me to be as “honest” as I can be – and they’re probably right. Sometimes, I think I needs to carry a sieve with me to filter my words before they reach human ears.

      On another topic, as a taller than average woman, where do you buy pants?

      Thank you for dropping by and warming my day with your nice compliments.

  30. Truth-Bag

    OMG. Isn’t there a law against discriminatory blogging? Just in case there wasn’t – there certainly should be! Have we learned nothing from history? I don’t even follow this blog regularly, but just from the digest bits that end up in email inbox, not only has the tendency of the authors on here to discriminate against men become more prevalent; no – by now, there’s even distinct tendencies of height-ism lurking in literally every other post! Taller than average woman: That’s a sexist and heightist statement – and it makes me sad, because I’m a grumpy, old, tiny, fat man. At least fake some compassion.

  31. Judy Smith

    You’re absolutely right, Miss Snarky, I CAN’T wait to read more. I’m subscribing THIS SECOND. And I have the distinct feeling I will be reading everything you’ve written and standing in line for more. I, too, am a freakishly smart blabbermouth, and one of those people with whom Jesus was cheating on you — horrible discovery! Please do not hold it against me that I am only 5’3″ tall. I’ll be back …

  32. Pingback: Let’s Play Fictionary! « The Life of Kylie
  33. Judy Smith

    Wow, I just realized this morning that my brain started substituting the word “Sassy” for Snarky” somewhere along the line. The perils of long-term sustained wisdom! No wonder I couldn’t find you on Facebook — Miss Who?? Bear with me, please …

  34. mctb13

    Now my teenage daughter thinks I am certifiable (totally possible regardless) as I …the non-laugh-outloud-blog-reader… sat here losing it LOUDLY over your open letter to Michelle Obama. Sign me up and keep em comin’!

  35. Shit's Gotta Stop

    Hi!. I just stumbled into your blog, had a look around for a bit, and landed here. You said you were “So Lonely”, so I’ve said ‘Hi!’. I really hope that helps…
    Anyway, nice work – and you will now pop up in my Reader. Cheers!

    • Miss Snarky Pants

      Thanks, sweetheart. I, like almost everyone on wordpress, took a few months off, so you probably didn’t miss much. So glad you dropped by. Fall’s here and it’s time to BLOG. Your blog is awesome; each photo speaks a thousand words.

  36. Pingback: Thanks for “You Can’t Fix Stupid” | Wandering Voiceless
  37. Sarah Lopez

    Sooo I think snark is pretty cool and I major in it myself as well as sarcasm and overall rowdy free speech. I am looking for other mouthy bloggers to connect with and I quite dig your blog. Snark on and be merry

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