The Amazing Blog Goddess of the Universe, Sweet Mother, dedicated today’s post to praising my Paltry Meanderings blog. The Amazon Amaze-balls Blogger Whom I Most Admire is waxing sentimental about my writing?????? What’s next? Is David Sedaris going to show up at my door with an engagement ring? Is Aaron Sorkin going to beg me to join the writing staff for the second season of The Newsroom? Is bacon going to be declared vegan because pigs spend so much time with their noses in the mud?
Please read, share and send Sweet Mother every bit of blog love you have. And if you aren’t reading her blog and think you’re too busy to do so, you’re wrong. Brushing your teeth two to three times a day is just a suggestion, not a friggin’ law. Sleeping – you can sleep when you’re dead (or when both Sweet Mother and I am dead and no longer blogging). Sex – ha! You weren’t having sex. Stop being silly. Immediately follow Sweet Mother, then report back to me and tell me how fucking awesome she is! Or how awesome I am. Or how awesome David Sedaris is. Even two out of three would be good.
Oh, it’s been a cruel, cruel summer. I started this blog out with such a fervor. I was in a frenzy. I was frackin’ dedicated. I’m still dedicated, but I’ve got the wahs and the blahs. If this long, hot, cruel, summer doesn’t end soon, I fear I’ll have nothing left to write about, but paper bags. Don’t think I won’t do it? I will. Heck, I could talk about the plastic bag right now… Did you know the sanitation departments of America often refer to plastic bags as, “Satan’s resin” because they never feckin’ break down? Did you know that Los Angeles has nearly outlawed the plastic bag? I have a joke for that and it goes:
Los Angeles has outlawed the plastic bag. You have no idea how funny it is to watch Tom Cruise pick up dog poop with a bev nap and a pair of…
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